Adventures in Parenting: Embarrassment Thy Name is Mother

Adventures in Parenting: Embarrassment Thy Name is Mother

As I have stated previously and repetitively, I live to embarrass my children. I love awkward. Here is where I want to delineate the meaning of embarrassment versus humiliation. Those are two very different words. I do not live to humiliate the Little Rains Children. Embarrass and make them regret whatever they did to irritate me? Yes.

Nick is especially sensitive to my being, well, myself. He reminds me how I am supposed to behave in public and what not to do and wear. Ella, does not take as much offense to my antics, she thinks I’m pretty funny. Natey? Well, Natey is difficult to embarrass due to his inconsistent responses. Sometimes he will crawl under the seat and pretend he doesn’t have a mother, other times he will join me in dancing to Baby Got Back.

One particular morning last year, I managed to embarrass my sweet Natey in a way that he will not forget. I get up and take the Little Rains Children to school every morning. As they are not small anymore, I am only required to stop long enough for them to safely get out of my car and go on my way. I don’t have to get out or interact with the public. So, I don’t dress up for the occasion.

On this morning, I had dropped Ella and Nick at their respective schools and took Natey to his school. Pulling into the drop off-line, I noticed a large number of vehicles parked in the lot. And then remembered it was Moms and Muffins day at school. I looked at Natey and apologized for not being able to go in with him. He would have nothing of the sort, he insisted on my attendance. When I looked at my attire, I asked him again if he was sure and he was.

Natey and I marched into Perkins-Tryon Elementary School to get some muffins. I was clad in The Big D’s boxer shorts, a t-shirt, a hoodie that almost covered said boxers, no bra, no makeup, and a bun full of rock and roll hair on the top of my head. If he didn’t mind, I didn’t mind. About half way down the hallway to the cafeteria, Natey began to rethink his insistence at my attendance. He sped up to put some distance between us (like everyone didn’t know he belonged to me). As I entered the cafeteria, I couldn’t find Natey. I did spot a few of my girlfriends cackling and knew he had to be close. He had run into the room, dove under a chair and told my friends “My mom is wearing my Dad’s underwear and I want to die!” I stood in line to get my muffin and Sunny D all while yelling and waving at Natey telling him how much I loved him.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart my friends. Then again, neither is childhood.

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